I have an 11 y/o girl who I adopted from China at age 4 1/2 mths.  There was little life in her eyes for the first 4 days of being with her.  That thankfully changed with the attention and love given to her.   She is a child who is not in touch with her feelings, emotionally or physically to some degree.  We continue to work on this.   She has much grief in regard to her biological birth givers, who abandoned her.   She strives to be first at everything (getting to the front door first, etc) and tries to be in control which causes problems with her sister.

I have done EFT on her for nail biting.   I would like some guidance on working on the intense emotions related to her being abandoned, and suggestions since she will be limited in knowing what she really is feeling.   

Thanks so much.

Mal

Well I'll probably be shot down for saying it, but I believe in balance (especially balancing the energies again!) and that 'balance' concept applies to expecting (or rather not expecting) one thing to sort eveything out as if nothing else could (I know this isn't what you were saying, Mal). So I reckon a good Gestalt therapist could help your daughter get in touch with her feelings and help her experience her 'self' and her own 'strength' – after which she could use tapping to regulate things. As she approaches teenagerhood (is that a word?) it will be awfully useful to have a more solid sense of self and acceptance of what has happened in her life!

Cheers

Martha

Hello Mal,

Your daughter is fortunate to have identified her abadonment issues this early in life. Even though you are the mother she was meant to have, there is an energetic attachment that exists between a biological mother and her child. Her need to be best and first is her way of being worthy and deserving of acceptance and your love, specifically, and others in general.

EFT is definitely the way to go.  I would say to you and any parent reading this post that seeking out guidance from an experienced and competent EFT Practitioner would be wise.  There are times, when working with loved ones, that your own feelings surrounding the issues are too emeshed and you wind up 'stepping into' each others energy.   

You know that you are a good mother and that her issues with her biological mother do not diminish the love and bond she has with you, her true mother.

Happy Tapping!

Nurse Crilly