Hi Silvia
It is a while since you posted this but incase you are still out there here are some ideas on how to tap your son.
You could approach him saying that you are still very distressed and upset about the time you were having the cancer treatment and he was with the care giver and that you would like to do some EFT on yourself about this issue and that you need his help
At the beginning of the session, say "I am going to tap myself and I am also standing in (proxying) for .....(name your son) whilst I tap myself"
(When you proxy someone into a session it's as though 2 hearts become one, energetically you work together - this can be proved with muscle checking so just try to accept it if you haven't come across it before)
Now as you begin tapping, know that every point you tap will also be tapping for him.
So begin with yourself, in this way he will get to see, understand, feel safe and trust the eft process.
Measure your own intensity on the issue for how upset, worried, guilty etc you feel over what happened to him
Then rub the sore spot saying ' even though I had to leave you and go and have this treatment and I am upset that I had to do this, I love and accept myself'' say it 3 times or something that expresses how you feel
then tap all the points on your self and tell a bit of the story from your point of view as you tap each one
here are some suggestions, but please say anything that is right for you,
I had to go for cancer therapy,... I had no one to look after you....you were only 3 1/2.... I couldnt explain to you that I would be back...I had to leave you with xxxx..... I was worried about you ...... I feel guilty about leaving you ......she wasn't kind to you and I can't forgive myself, ......I am angry with her ...I couldn't help you because I was sick..... I missed you .... I always loved you and was thinking about you. Continue adding your own things in or just keep on repeating any of these until you have finished tapping 1 full round
measure what your intensity is on the issue after this round -
For the next round, If your son is willing, tap him and yourself at the same time, otherwise just tap yourself and tell the story from your son's point of view, Watch him very carefull as you tap yourself and observe the way you feel - especially if any of the statements make you want to cry....here are some possible suggestions on what to say as you tap each point. If you feel like crying as you tap any point, remember what you just said as this is likely to be an important or core issue with your son - remember you are sharing the same space energetically. (you can then tap this issue again later)
Start by rubbing the sore spot saying something like "Even though Mummy left me she loves me" .....Even though mummy left me and I had a bad time it's over now and Mummy is with me now. .....Even though mummy left me I'm a wonderful alright kid"
Then start tapping him saying any one of these as you tap each point... My Mummy left me..... she went away...I was afraid...I couldn't find her....I couldn't be with her.... ...I was all alone...I missed her...I was upset and cried for her.... I did not know when she was coming to get me.... she left me with xxxx .... xxxx was mean to me... she hit me... I was afraid.... I wanted my mummy.... xxxx locked me in my room.... I was all alone and frightened ... I was angry with mummy for going away and leaving me.... I was afraid she would never come back. Add in any other things that come to mind.
Again at the end of the round measure your intensity about how you feel, and ask your son how he feels
For the next round, ask your son if he could please help you, ask him if he can remember going to stay with xxxx, ask him to tell the story of everything that happened to him. I believe at this point he will be feeling a bit better and will not feel threated by doing eft either. If he is willing rub the sore spot on him and say something like ..Even though My Mum left me and I had a horrible time I'm a wonderful alright kid and mum loves me> Even though Mum left me and I was upset this is just a brick in my backpack it's not me (he should smile at this) Even though mum was sick and I was afraid and she left me I love and accept myself. Otherwise just rub yourself again
The ask him to tell everything that he remembers about what happened and tap through all the points moving on to the next point as he brings up a new issue. If he runs out of story ask him to tell you everything again until you have finished tapping the round
Again measure your intensity, and ask him how he feels. He can use his hands to show how bad it is - hands far apart shows how very bad he feels, hands touching together shows he doesn't care any more, feels nothing etc Or he can pull a face - very unhappy, unhappy, ok, happy.
If he got upset over anything or you felt like crying over any of his issues, do a round tapping those things on him if possible, other wise on yourself as he watches, tap repeated rounds until he says he / or you feel/s better about a particular.
Tap until you both feel better. His main issues are likely to be abandonment, fear, grief over loss of his mother, although he could have issues with his caregiver and what she did to him
At the end...Tap your index finger 3 times and say 'I forgive myself I was doing the best I can', tap his index finger 3x and say 'I forgive Mummy she was sick and had to go away and leave me', tap both his and your index fingers 3x and say ' althoug xxxx(caregiver) is not a nice person and she did wrong I forgive her so that I can be free of her, I forgive her'
At the end of the session say "I end my proxy for you, I am no longer standing in for you, I am myself and you are yourself" .
If you personally have any further issues it is important that you clear yourself of them as the stress of them is not something like anger, hurt, guilt, grief
If you can't manage something like this I suggest you find an EFT Practitioner in your area.
With love and blessings,
Good luck.