I adopted my son from birth, and he is now almost 9. I was always open about his adoption, and we have a lovely photo album including his birth mother, his birth, etc. It didn't seem to bother him. It just was. Then, about six months ago, it changed. After never hearing from his birth Mom at all, she called out of the blue and wanted to meet him. I thought we may never have another opportunity, so I jumped at the chance; but I made a big mistake not telling him beforehand that we were only meeting her, that she still was not going to be his "everyday" Mommy. Her pictures in the album are stunning, but she is even more so in person. She has a beautiful smile, a terrific figure, is very engaging, etc. Pretty much drop dead georgious. My son was very drawn to her, they hugged, held hands, etc. She claimed she wanted to be in his life now, but it was not true. She was hoping I had money to give her. Then she was gone. He was devastated.
Since then, he considers himself a "bad" child, or why would someone so stunningly lovely and engaging give him up? He also has Autism, and he knows he is different from and "not the same as" other kids. Finally, he no longer considers me his real Mom.
How can I undo the rejection and sorrow he must be feeling? I will be doing surrogate tapping.