Hi,

 

there's a great spectrum of kids with attentional problems. And we all

know times, when it's hard to focus or concentrate on a thing. A major

aspect of not being able to focus is there are too many things on our mind.

Think of a wall of tv screens all tuned to a diffrent channel with sound on.

One shows whats important (a word / exercise / some math) the others are distractions.

Ironicly modern life often demands such a multitasking-mode and stepping out of it can be difficult at times.

Here 's a little eft exercise that helps to regain focus. I do it with my young clients (some of which are labeled add/adhd) or

with myself after a busy day at work.

 

First rate your level or the kids level of concentration on a scale of zero to ten. Zero being

all foggy  and 10 is laser sharp.

 

Then go into the setup phrase:

 

Even though I have a thousand thoughts in my head it it makes me confused / dizzy I am cool / a great kid / a learner / choose to give my best / to focus

Variations could be:

Even though I have a thousand thoughts / pictures / voices / all this stuff / chaos in my head...

 

As you go through the points you can throw in:

 

- All those thoughts...

- Chaos in my head...

- Thoughts racing around in my head...

- Thinking all those thoughts at the same time...

-  Not being able to focus...

- All this confusion...

- I'd wish I could sort those things out...

or

- I'd wish those things get sorted out...

 

After you're done rate your level of concentration again. Often you see an improvement. If not you might still

have a clearer idea on what to tap next.

 

In a more general fashion this might also be a great way of introducing eft to a group:

 

Event though sometimes I have thousand thoughts in my head (we all know those times dont't we)

 

The idea seems very simple yet it's one of the core aspects of things like add/adhd and a lot of

problems relate to that. Most symptoms and behavioral problems are desperate ways of dealing 

with having to much thoughts and impulses at the same time and not being able to have any sense of control.

 I know  kids who get thrown out of class at least once a day just so they can move around. Once

they gain more control they turn into the lovely kids they've always been.

 

Attentional problems are serious but they are not that complicated...

Best wishes

 Dirk

 

 

 

 

 

Hello Dirk,

Good advice.  Just to add to that, EFT Master Loretta Sparks, suggests using a round of Collarbone Breathing prior to an EFT session or before an activity that requires focus.  This is not needed for everyone (although it could not hurt) but for those who struggle with getting and staying focused.  You can find an explanation in Gary Craig's manual and it is on the first set of his DVD's.  It takes a little practice to do it with ease and smoothly. however, once you master it, the client can easily follow along.

Hope this helps.

Dirk,

I have a son that is 13 years old.  We adopted him at birth.  He is bright but hates school.  He is a good reader but has next to no comprehension.

He tells me that he is bored and hates school. He rarely completes his work in class. Some teachers indicate that even if he is quiet he isn't focusing on what is going on in class.  I refuse to take him to a doctor and lable him ADD.  I have tried to surogate tap for him but do not see much difference.  I have heard him say that he doesn't think that he is smart.  To most of his friends school is easy they are A-B students.

 I must admit that I have spoiled him and rarely follow through completely with consequences.  So I am suffering the consequences of my lack of action.  He raises his voice and becomes physical when he doesn't get his way at home especially because I am getting tougher and sticking to my guns.   In the past has been disrespectful to his teachers.  I am tired..and at a loss. 

He has such great potential and others (friends and their parents) love him and say that he is such a great kid.  They are suprised that he treats us so bad and that his grades average d's and f's.

 I love him and want him to be happy and successful at whatever he chooses to do.    He only sees the negative side of life and that his life is so bad...he hates us..we are so mean.. 

How can I help him?

Thanks for your help.

GMckinlay1

 Hi GMckinlay1

 

Let me first thank you for posting your story. We all learn a lot form postings like that and it takes courage

to talk openly about parenting.

 

You know mothers on airplanes have to be reminded to put those oxygen-masks on themselves first before they put them on their children in case

of an emergency. (credits for the metaphor go to Carol Look)

 

 Kids and teenagers with attentional problems can be very demanding and drain your ressources quickly that is true for parents and professionals alike. Here are some ideas on what you can tap on to get you some air (use your own words to customize):

 

Even though "Johnny" can be so demandig and this makes feel I am at a loss, I am a good mother /father

 

Even though I "spoiled " "Johnny" in the past and I feel guilty about it, I am a good mother/ father and choose to stick to my guns and do it for love.

 

Even though I cannot change "Johnny", he can only change himself and it makes my all desperate, I am a good mothers/ father and choose to trust his potential.

 

Even though "Johnny" puts up a fight and says we are mean, when I set boundaries and it makes my tired and desperate, I am a good mother / father and choose to set healthy boundaries for all of us.

 

 You might also want to look into an audio interview Jessica (Ortner) from eftrevealed.com did with Paul Keen on parenting and attentional problems. It has a great tap-along part for parents. Thanks to Jessica for this wonderful ressource.

www.eftrevealed.com/

Look under 'Categories' -> 'add / adhd'

 

All the best to you and your family

Dirk

 

 

 

Hello I've just joined because I'd like to know how to start with surrogate eft for a group of very talented, nice, but appallingly disruptive 12 year olds that I have to teach, who cause major problems in class. I'm really not sure how to go about it. Any suggestions? Alima

 Hello,

 chances are you been a bright and talented kid / teenager too (maybe not disruptive) and you have a resonance with those children (that's why they end up in your class).

After all tapping, surrogate or not, is a form of deep rapport. So you can start with those experiences and will get more ideas as you go along.

 

Personally I have a policy with clients or students not to use surrogate tapping with them because it's their job to do the work. I use surrogate

tapping with family and extended family almost exclusivly. Exceptions are crisis interventions especially if others who are involved are suffering. Sometimes they even come back after dropping out of treatment. The ways of the universe are mysterious...

 

When I do surrogate work I never have the idea that 'I did it' it's more a form of sending good wishes to the universe, my form of prayer if you will.

Letting go is a major part in this art...

 

 So I suppose you do your emotional 'homework'...

 

...and wish you all the best

 

Dirk

 

 

Thanks for that Dirk. Yes, I was! Though very, very shy, and often bullied. Maybe they pick that up too...

Wow, I just joined up tonight and this was the first post I read.  I'm deeply impressed at the contributions in this thread, and I can't wait to read more.  Thanks so much for sharing your stories, and I can't wait to read more and contribute some of my own experiences!