HI everyone,I am new here. i have been doing EFT for only just a few weeks.

 I recently taught my son EFT when he became very upset at school and said to me 'I feel like kill himself!'

My son has beena really placid boy and is also a 'prerfectionist'. He thinkis that he's not as good as other people (very low self-esteem) and also has tendencies to self-punishment eg. hitting himself on his head. He purposely do naughty things so he could get in trouble with teachers etc becuase he doesn't think he is good enough. He thinks we (his parents) are 'perfect' and i had to explain that everyone is good at doing certain things but that doesn't mean that we 're perfect (and we pointed out what he is good at). Since he told me about his suicidal thought, which was a wake up call to me, I immediately rang his school and spoke to his teacher and principal (that was 3-4 weeks ago). Since then, he has been seeing the school counsellor who is very great with him but unfortunately she only works 2 days a week and has other children to deal with. My son also from time to time (only 6 episode so far since age 2-3) has 'night terror' where he will wake up screaming in fear and even with eyes open, he would not be aware that I am there. In children with night terrors, they often do not want to be touch or hug and is best left alone (with parents supervision so they don't cause themselves harm eg fall down the bed, etc) till  they come out of it which may take anything up to 10 minutes. Often after, these children have no memory of what had happen. Normally he has NO problem sleeping.

In terms of night terror, how can I help him with EFT? would surrogate EFT help? If so, how do i go about doing that when he doesn't not allow me to touch him?

in addition, I am seeing a EFT/neurofeedback therapist and my husband objects me taking our son to see her because:

1) he thinks EFT will cause harm to a child which prompts me to ask if there's any scientific research done which show that EFT IS SAFE? I'd love to find such article to show him! He would not accept me telling him that it is safe becuase we are tapping on the meridien points and it is completely safe. Can anyone help me on finding proof of EFT being SAFE FOR CHILDREN?

 2) also, he doesn't want our son to think that what he is going through IS a big issue becuase he may be doing it partly for attention seeking reason and that could make the matter worse, which I partly agree. But knowing the EFT could help, even though my husband doesn't like the idea of me teahing him EFT, my son has shown interest in it that I will insist on continuing teaching him EFT myself.

 If anyone has anything at all which would help me dealing with my son's behavioural problems/ very low se-esteem issues/ perfectionism issues etc, please kindly help me. I am new to EFT and since he's not allowed to go to outside help with EFT, I'll have teach him myself.

In the mean time with the help of the counsellor, we're hoping that the answer to what triggers this behaviour will surface and we can deal with it better then. IS there anyway I help help this process happen quicker without making him  feels that 'i am right about me being bad and the worst kid at school in light that this is how he feels about himself.

 I have bought a fabric dog which I am going to sew suttons on which will be his Tappy Dog (he has seen this EFT video on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1efrIBI9BY

 I am so stressed at the moment and could sure use a lot of help so please if you can help in anyway, please kindly post your replies.

 Thank you in advance

 May (Australia)

Hello May,

Welcome to the forum and I hope that you will find members support helpful for your son and family.

Your son is not happy  - that seems evident. Suicidal language is obviously very upsetting and needs to be very carefully handled. If you feel he is in real danger then that needs handling. If it appears to be more like a cry for help then his families support, love and help are essential. Uncovering what gets to him,what's going on at school, listening to his words, will be key in any session or family work, for tapping to be really effective.

You have raised many typical questions that people have when they are new to tapping and EFT.

To answer your questions. I have suggestions for you.

If you go onto my post history, and have a look at the articles below. Many of your questions have material here that may fill in some gaps for you:

• Tapping for all the family
• Leading by example
• Surrogate tapping for children.

If you have any difficulty pulling the articles up, post me an email and I'll forward them to you.

With the safety, abreaction, what is eft? issue

It is absolutely good to raise them and also your husband's comments. I have children and I would think it very sensible to question the science, evidence and logic behind anything that was new to me before exposing my children to it. It's a very natural, healthy and responsible way to be , I have a article 'Too good to be true' which I wrote that may be of interest to your husband. It discusses a background of evidence scientific and anecdotal from many sources and also a bit more about what is naturally happening in the body and mind when we tap. Let me know if you would like it.

In the meantime, my suggestion would be to keep tapping really simple. Maybe to start with, relax and let your son see you tap, let him help you with set ups for yourself, use real phrases and words that have left your lips. Be specific about what you are tapping on. Acceptance form your son and family would help the resistance problem.

For his sleep issues, a nice bed time tuck routine described in one of the articles could really help. Tapping on positive stuff is also really beneficial.

Lastly self esteem and confidence , tapping really can help. Again, I am happy to share more articles and tapping ideas with any readers.

When you are digested some of this come back and let us know how it's going.

My thoughts are with you

Hi Christine,

 Thanks so much for your respond. I will check o those articles you wrote.You are so helpful and I deeply grateful to you.

 oh, I'd love a copy of 'Too good to be true' for my husband. Could you please email it to me?

sorry it's late here. I will get back to you om how I am going with all these suggestions. Will be interesting to see the outcome.

thanks again Christine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May