My 10 year daughter's teachers from Kindergarten thru now 5th grade, have always told me she doesn't focus in class. She short cuts all instructions.  Example: She is doing a math worksheet and the question will say "reduce 30/100 and write as a percent, and decimal" she will answer the first part and reduce the fraction, but she never answers the rest of the question.  She does this all the time.  If she's given a writing assignment, she only answers the first part and leaves the rest blank.  It's like she only reads the first words and that's it.  I have no idea why she does this.  It's now getting to a point were it is affecting her grades.  I sometimes think she does it because she's lazy or because she just wants to do the minimum to just turn it in. 

 Anyway, I have used EFT for a phobia I had.  I was thinking that maybe EFT can help her.  However, I'm not sure where to start with it.  I asked my EFT practitioner and she said Hypnosis would be better for her, but we already tried hypnosis and she just falls esleep.  I don't feel like it does anything for her.  She's done Hypnosis as directed and still I don't think it's doing anything for her.

At this point any advice will help. Thanks in advance

 beesmom! 

Hi Beesmom,

Does your daughter have trouble remembering multiple directions in other areas of her life? For example, if you tell her, "Take out the trash, put your dirty clothes in the laundry room, and feed dthe dog," does she remember to do all three things without further prompting from you? Does she forget she has homework, to do the homework, or to turn it in after she has doneit? If so, this could indicate the symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder predominantly Inattentive. Many people with ADHD do not have the hyperactive component or symptom. As a matter of fact, they can sometimes appear lazy or lethargic.

How does your daughter respond when you ask the "Why" questions? "Why did you only answer half the question?" "Why can't you focus?"  Her response is probably, "I don't know," because she doesn't know!(Another sign of ADHD.) Medical management is highly effective for ADHD, but if you don't want to consider that, you can tap for focusing issues and the emotional issues that arise because of them.

"Even though I don't know why I only answer half of the question, "I'm a good kid, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself."

EB: Only answer part of the question

OE: Don't know why I do that

UE: It's like I don't even see the other part

UN:  Or I forget

CB:  And only answer part of the question

UA:  Don't know why I do that

CR:  Don't know why I can't remember

You can also ask your daughter how she feels when she realizes she has only answered part of the question. Possible answers might be: frustrated, angry, confused, puzzled, sad, stupid, dumb, etc. Then you can tap on the emotional issue. "Even though I feel .... when I don't answer all of the question, I'm still a great kid, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself."

After you have tapped on these aspects, you can try using the choice method.

"Even though I have a problem remembering to answer all of the question, I choose to remember to answer the question completely."

EB: Don't remember to answer all of the question

OE: I choose to remember

UE: Don't answer all of the question

UN: I choose to answer all of the question

CB: It's too hard for me to remember

UA: I can remember

CR: I choose to remember

Hope this helps. Let me know how it goes!

Cheers,

Beesmom

That is so awesome! It is certainly easy to understand why your daughter developed a defense mechanism to protect herself. It always makes me sad when I hear stories like this...I know most teachers are dedicated people who love children and wouldn't consciously inflict such pain. It is amazing how powerful those early experiences are. One of my clients, a sixth grader, said her problems with math also started in kinder because most of the kids in her class were familiar with numbers, and she wasn't. It made her feel stupid, she said, and from then on she struggled. EFT was also very successful in removing that sting, allowing her to pass the state-mandated test.

Thanks for reporting back! Love those EFT success stories!

Dear Beesmom,  Along with using the excellent phrases Syandra Ingram sent you, you might teach your daughter to use EFT for herself. Start by you showing her how it works with something easy and non judgemental, like a headache or a phobia like you did for yourself. When she sees how easy it is, you can tell her lots of kids her age use it on themselves to help with schoolwork. I have several children in class who have reported to me they use it for flash cards, spelling tests, math tests, reading. They say it helps them FOCUS.  Their word, "focus". If your daughter was open to using EFT, and you guiding her to show her how, it could give her confidence in her own power of controlling parts of her life.  Another thing I ask you to remember,  YOU are a great mom, always investigating new possiblities for the well being of your daughter.

                             Blessings from Kansas,  Judy Whitcraft   EFT-ADV   www.judywhitcraft.com

 Judy, thanks for your comments. Teaching children to do EFT for themselves is one of the most empowering things we can do for them!  I am currently at the Texas Elementary School Counsleor's Conference and will be presenting an EFT workshop in about an hour to fellow school counselors. I am so excited to be able to get this information out to more people who work directly with children!

Last week, on one of the TAKS test days, as soon as I walked into the building I was approached by a couple of teachers for some "emergency tapping!" It seems one of their students, who is already prone to test anxiety, had a trauma overnight. Her pet hamster died, and they buried it. Unfortunately, we had heavy rain during the night and when she walked outside the next morning, she discovered that the rain had washed up the body of her beloved pet. She was crying and stressing, her mom was crying and stressing, and in 30 minutes or so she had to take the TAKS test. Not a good scenario!

I went to get the student, we talked and tapped, and before long she was calm and felt she was ready and able to re-join her class to take the test. I taught her some key spots to tap on if, during the test, she found herself getting anxious or sad again. She made it through the day and the test with no further crying and hyperventilating, and was able to do what she needed to do.

I loved knowing that she had a tool she could use for herself when no one else could help her!

Thanks again, Judy, for mentioning this!