Hello to everybody.
I would like to put together some scripts to surrogate my child of 3 years and half and for this purpose I will try to explain the situation a little bit.
He has had some episodes of ear infections and now a polyp in his nose. I took him to every possible health care practitioners dealing in natural healing. Among them a reflexologist/cranial-sacral/therapist and a kinesiologist.
Both explained that his phisical ailments are of emotional nature: a sort of conflict with me, he feels loved but not accepted.
it is an emotional issue linked to me, and himself as well, for a little part he is also struggling to accept himself.
The reflexologist found that his root chakra and throat chakra are not working properly, that the left ear (the one with hear loss and recurrent ear infections) are related to a conflict with a female character: I said right away: it must be me, he is most of the time with me, there are not too many people in his life and I don't leave him with anybody.She said the throat also represents verbal conflicts and problems in comunication (this has been my problem too and my throat chakra is blocked too ).
During this path I also came accross the explanation given by Louise Hay for the hearing loss and ear problems and they really refer to too much arguing, the wish from the child to seal off, not wanting to hear and so on.
And the kinesiologist explained that the nose is related to the issue of "control" (most probably from me).
The kinesiologist added that my son also has an issue for not having the father around:the absence of the father is playing some role, and it's more the fear of not seeing the father than the fact that he is not available per se'.
If I describe the mother I am - or better the person I am I would say that:
I have some emotional issues (lack of self-esteem, control, guilt, etc,) I am a single parent and also have some phisical issues which would make me often feel tired and therefore less tolerant to the normal behavior of a toddler.
My "emotional healing" is not an easy path: I have been a "negative" person most of my life and in spite of the fact that I have tried many things,
then I kind of "bounce back" to my original print. When my son was born I wanted to give him the best I could (( I have breastfed him for 3 years / when he was an infant I would run to him at his first cry / I never let him with a baby sitter, I still co-sleep with him beside his crib / I just wanted to tell him: I am here for you baby )), so I started insisting on getting better myself in order to benefit him
for me raising a kid has resulted being the most difficult thing. Being a parent has meant to me like landing on mars: know nothing about it,and things are not natural to me.
Don't know how to talk to them, when they fuss, instead of taking into consideration that they are just kids, I start getting nervous and feel lost.
I have spent lot of time reading about parenting, watching videos about parenting, and I also attended parenting classes,
Surely breastfeeding was a wonderful bonding, and once I weaned him his ear infections started flaring, (he would never want to be weaned, still today he comes to me, put his face on my *** and say: I love teat mom I love to nurse).
It's a fact that I am always stressed out, always in a hurry, always trying to accomplish one million things.
It's a fact also that I am always anxious about the fact that he might get hurt, if I compare myself to the mothers at the park, I definetely can say that I am very anxious.
In my whole life I have been used to manage my time the way I wanted, but with a child this is impossible and I definetely miss my freedom.
SO WHAT I am trying to do now is to put into practice more all the things that I have learnt, like positive thinking and positive affirmations,I am using several EFT scripts for myself (gratitude/self love/awakening early morning) I am doing some yoga (breathing).
The reason of my post is that I would like to add another EFT EXERCISE, this time it would be a surrogate tapping for my child, but I can't find the words to put together:
they would be :
--words concerning his anger (he surely must have anger stored in his body)
--words concerning the stress from me ("let's go we are late, we have to run now, come on let's go")
--words concerning his phisical ailments as well (hear loss - ear infections - nasal polyp)
--words concerning the lack of his father
--words concerning the wish to express himself the way he wants (this issue came up too)
In the latest 2-3 monthes I also noted that while he talks (he knows a lot of words in 2 languages) he does not make the sentence right away, he puts words together but as if in his brain he is still looking for them, as if he is stammering. And this make me think once again that it could be related to the throat charka.
I am already pronouncing in front of him things like "I want to feel good - I approve of myself - my body heals itself " and ask him to repeat them with me in a sort of game.
I cannot explain how much I feel bad knowing that this little Golden Soul that God gave me is ill because I am not yet the mother I want to be.
I cannot explain the amount of guilt that circulates in my body, in my mind, everywhere in me for that.
I thank in advance for any help.
lu