Hi all,

My name is Diana, I am fairly new to the boards here but have been an active user of EFT for myself and a few others for about 8 years now, I have tapped for myself and guided other adults on childhood abuse issues in the past with very good results.

Today I was talking to a friend about EFT and she asked if I thought it could help her son, he is 9 and last year his teacher abused him and a few other boys in his school class, he went  to counceling and the teacher to court, and soon to jail, but his mom says this boy is still having major difficulties in school, as well as at home, he feels like it is his fault, like he is not worthy to be loved, by anyone or God, he feels unclean etc.....

I know this can help him, and I have setup phrases ready to go, (based on what his mom told me today, they may change after I talk to the child) what I don't know is how to approach and explain EFT to a child. I have known and been good friends with this family for years now and it breaks my heart to see him struggeling like he is.

 Any and all suggestions are welcome, 

Diana C. - healthyjourney@msn.com

 

Hi Dana

 I work with youngsters like your friends son all the time.  I'm a traditionally trained Counsellor whose chosen passion is working with children and young people.  How I introduce EFT varies, but generally I just say I've got this funny looking tapping thing I do, that might be fun for you to try.  I might say want to have a go? They usually say ok, looking at me in a funny way.  The words at this point aren't important.  This child, in my opinion just needs someone to be with him, in his here and now, without judgement or perhaps even concern for the abuse that he has suffered.  Just be there for him.  He will appreciate that, his mum only knows his problem from her perspective not his.  How about playing a game with him, let him win and then do some tapping on yourself.  Even though this 9 year old is beating me at this game I deeply and etc., make it funny.  I'm a bit zany so sorry if that sounds unprofessional.

Good luck

lorraine 

Hi

I work with quite a few children and like Lorraine I tell them I know a really funny thing that can help them when don't feel too good inside.  Some of these poor kids have been brought along to be 'fixed' and have no idea whats going to happen, so making it into a game and being light with it is very important. Not diving straight in is also important.   I also emphasise that they do not have to tell me anything that they do not want to tell me.   

Many young children do not communicate their feelings well and I feel that the fact he as been able to share these with his mother is a  very good start and fundamental in his healing.  I would suggest teaching it to her to be vitally important so she can work with her own child.  For me as a parent the most difficult thing would be feeling there is nothing I can do to make him feel better.  I also feel it would be beneficial to work with her on her feelings about what happened as children can pick up on their parents confusion and distress.

 

 

 

As a therapist I find most of the time its not the abuse thats been the problem and that what actually happened is usually the last thing to work on, its the fact that no one believed them or supported them and there was no one to hear their pain, in particular the mother, that can be the most damaging.  Also the guilt and confusion.  At first kids enjoy the attention they were getting, especially if they were being 'groomed' so that can be very hard for them.

Also I would not worry too much about wording the feelings.  In my experience children at that age find it easier if you ask them to imagine what colour they are inside, or if there is anywhere in their body which doesn't feel to good, what shape it might be etc.  

I would say, even if you are well used to using EFT, leave what you think should be said at the door.  Only use what comes from them even if it seems in a very simplistic form, then you won't go wrong.

Best wishes

Gill Wightman

www.eastneuktherapies.co.uk

 

 

 

 

Hi Everyone I agree with the others that EFT will be very helpful. Have him tap on his words that he has expressed, "I think it is my fault." Have a converstion with him on his level-- so if Sam on the playground shoves Johnny down, is it johnny's fault. Then continue tapping: "Well, maybe it's not my fault." Eventually ask him if he will tap about the times the abuse happened, he can talk about it or not. Or he can draw pictures and then tap. At a subconscious level, or conscious level he may hold a deathwish for himself or the perpetrator. He eventually can tap on that. Tell him EFT cleans abuse out and that he does not have to carry it around any more. Creating children to change the world, Mary Hammond MA LPC Diplomate, Comprehensive Energy Psychology

Hi Everyone I agree with the others that EFT will be very helpful. Have him tap on his words that he has expressed, "I think it is my fault." Have a converstion with him on his level-- so if Sam on the playground shoves Johnny down, is it johnny's fault. Then continue tapping: "Well, maybe it's not my fault." Eventually ask him if he will tap about the times the abuse happened, he can talk about it or not. Or he can draw pictures and then tap. At a subconscious level, or conscious level he may hold a deathwish for himself or the perpetrator. He eventually can tap on that. Tell him EFT cleans abuse out and that he does not have to carry it around any more. Creating children to change the world, Mary Hammond MA LPC Diplomate, Comprehensive Energy Psychology