I recently qualified as a Level 3 practitioner and would like to specialise in working with children, animals and addictions (hence my username).My question is how does one work with the parents of a child that comes for EFT,if the parent is unable or unwilling to recognise their involvement in the child's presenting issue. I'm not suggesting that children only manifest the unresolved issues of their parents, but I'm aware it's a possibility.There could be resitence to this possibility and one doesnt want to allienate the parents.I recognise that encouraging parents to do surrogate tapping for their children/babies can go some way to overcoming thier own energetic involvement but if one's intuition suggests a clear connection how can one avoid any syggestion of blame.

Hello,

This can be a difficult one and it is not that uncommon. It needs delicate handling and basically it a case of carefully building trust with the parent/s. When I work with children, the parents are invariably present in the practice room when we are first becoming familiar with the whole idea of tapping. Personally, I don't give the parents the option to sit and watch, I invite to join in with the tapping and speaking explaining the concept of borrowed benefits. I also do not shy from discussing the value of their input and how they can genguinely help to make a difference.

In this period, I tread carefully and help select an issue that is not to heavy and avoid any embarrasment, guilt or shame issues. This might be something like, I'm a bit nervous about being her ,or my stomach hurts, etc. I steer the process to give ownership of the set up phrases to the child and invite the parent to throw the odd phrase in as they start to feel comfortable and see and feel the changes happening. It's amazing how once a paretn really starts experiencing the effects of tapping and shifting of energy, their guard just drops away and they get quite enthuiastic.

 From time to time parents may be a bit more than willing to 'speak for the child' and this again needs careful steering.

Either way, however by the time I am at a stage where I have gained the trust of both the parent and child I invite the parent to sit in the adjacent room in ear and eyeshot of us and watch one of the training videos and read more about me and my work!  Quite honestly, the parent is usually reluctant to leave the room as they are intrigued by the wonderful process unfolding.

The whole area of a parent being unwilling to recognise their part cannot be forced or nothing will work. EFT used creatively and carefully is in my opinion the best tool for bridging the gap of resistence/lack of knowledge/ lack of skills in parents to a position where they make natural reframes of why things are the way they are and how better outcomes can be achieved. It doesn't matter if a parent comes to EFT thinking that a problem is nothing to do with them. What is fundementally more important is what their outlook is reflecting when they leave.

This whole process takes lots of practice.

Hello,

I, often, find that parents bring their kids in for me to "fix".  I always nip that in the bud -- quite bluntly, actually, however, as tactfully as possible.  The important thing is that they understand that the child's issue is really a family issue.  After many years as a pediatric nurse, I know it is a given that I do not have just one patient but several -- parents, siblings, grandparents, you name it.

It is most helpful, indeed esential, to engage the parents in the process while balancing that with allowing the child some privacy and the ability to speak freely.  So glad you chose to help kids as your specialty.