Parent's Discusssion

Re: Set-up phrase and fear of doctors

practitionermod2 — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 21:55:27 GMT

That is great, Iris!!!! Great job, and thanks for sharing your successes.

Re: Set-up phrase and fear of doctors

irisa73 — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:55:44 GMT

Hi,

I just wanted to share. Yesterday I took my daughter to 3 doctors. The first was a woman and she kind of played with her, she only checked how she develops - especially cognitively, so it was OK.

Then she came with me to this doctor she really fears. When she saw him she started 'no, no", and since I only had a question, I stood at the door and spoke to him and she was beside me and quiet.

The 3rd doctor checked her before and there were screams. Now she came in and told him "I have white in my mouth" (I took her because I suspect some kind of fungi in her mouth) and he looked and she was wonderful! Of course i praised and encouraged her for her behavior.

Now we have to cross the bridge of physical checkup on the doctor's bed, I think she's still afraid of that, but I tapped on it once I realized it and will do so again.

Isn't it great?!

Iris

Re: Set-up phrase and fear of doctors

practitionermod2 — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:43:08 GMT

Hi Iris,

Christine has great advice and thanks, Christine for sharing your article again.

For a young baby or toddler, I like to hold them and tap on myself when possible, because I feel a stronger connection when they are in my energy field, however, this is not necessary.

When surrogate tapping, I use, "even though I (vs. YOU) because I try to put myself in their place when tapping for them. So, I talk as if I am the person or animal. This just gives me a feeling of being more strongly connected. Personally, I am very energy sensitive and feel others energy. So, for me, when I say "even though YOU...." I feel much less of the emotion because I feel like I am reflecting my own thoughts and feelings and judgments on the person or animal. When I say "even though I..." (as if I were speaking for them) I feel a complete connection with them and for me the tapping is much more effective.

Re: Set-up phrase and fear of doctors

ChristineM — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 08:50:55 GMT

Hello Iris,

You can do both.

Surrogate tapping for your childen of any age as described in the article.

Tapping on your own child is fine too. As long as :

you feel comfortable with the words or your best guess as to what the emotion is. If you are unsure on the emotion you can always use a setup like 'Even though I don't know exactly why .... is crying, mummy cares about you and shares peace with her baby' or the like.
it is with the best intention and
you are in a calm state.

Hope this helps

Best Wishes

Christine

Re: Set-up phrase and fear of doctors

irisa73 — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 10:21:22 GMT

Hi Christine,

Thanks for your answer and attaching the article. I haven't seen it before.

So actually what your'e saying is that it's better to tap as surrogate for small children, than to tap on them using "even though YOU...", right?

Iris

Re: Set-up phrase and fear of doctors

ChristineM — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 19:32:05 GMT

Hello Iris,

Two excellent questions.As a start I suggest that you read an article form the TAP with ME programme. This article has appeared on this forum a good while ago, but just in case you haven't seen it. I suggest that after you have read it some of the answers may be clearer.

In the meantime a short answer to the setup in the first question could be 'Even though I have a feeling/ believe that/think that you have...... This is just a suggestion. A you are the mum use your best intuition to decide what's the best to say.

Enjoy. Post back with the latest and we can develop further. I also encourage a full and through discussion and contributions form others on the forum , Thanks

Surrogate tapping for childrenWhilst active tapping with children is the best gift I know to help clear negative emotions, there is good occasion for surrogate or proxy tapping with a child. It is really quite simple, no need to make it complicated. Following are some general guidelines: “ Getting yourself out of the picture” Words from Gary Craig when he is talking about practitioners working with clients. Of course, the same applies to parents helping with their children’s issues. What use can you possibly be to your child in helping them if your energy field is disrupted as well? If we anxiously tap with someone or on someone we greatly lessen our chances of a positive result - this is one reason that we always tap along with clients. I don't want my own state to interfere with their healing. To the frazzled mum of the tantrum ridden toddler in the supermarketTo the parent who is faced yet again with a child who refuses to do homeworkTo the parent who is waiting for their teenager to return home late at night.My advice to other parents and to therapists is the same: For the true energy balancing effects of surrogate tapping to be most effective, always, always, always tap on yourself first. This will make all the difference. Children tend to be intimately tied to their parent’s emotional state to determine how they are going to feel. Remember, emotions get transferred between people when we interact, and children are often like tuning forks for our emotional states. So,try..“ Even though I am feeling angry that this …. has happened again, I deeply and completely accept myself” Working through levels of how you feel about the issue and remeasuring SUD’s as you go.By tapping yourself first you have more chance of truly being able to get into their space. You become free of your own negative emotional states ABOUT the problem, in order to work with the child ON their problem. Prior to this, emotions are likely to cloud response - and even being transferred to your child, short circuiting the benefits of tapping.Once you can honestly feel in a balanced state you can begin to tap for your child“Alone or together ?”You do not have to be in the same room with your child. In fact, sometimes it can be a good idea to take a little space as long as they are not in any potential danger.If the child is calm you can sit near them or hold them on your lap. You can say the words out loud so the child can hear clearly or to yourself if you feel there may be resistance. A great time for surrogate tapping is when your child is asleep. You can focus on the tapping points on the child as you tap on yourself. Use words/phrases that your child would say.You can do a surrogate tap for your child if they are on a school trip or even abroad.“How do I get started ?” A good place to begin is to tap your Friendly (Karate) Point and say, “My intention is to help …. (name) by seeing this issue through his/her eyes and feeling his/her feelings through his/her heart because I love him/her.”Tap yourself to clear your own energy. Example: “Even though I am upset/concerned/sad/angry (pick one or insert your own) about ..( name’s).. issue (describe the issue), I completely accept and love myself and him/her.” Alternate or additional statements could be…“I choose to be calm and loving about this issue” or…I release my negative feelings of frustration/ anger/ guilt” or “…I choose to be calm, confident and caring.”“ Becoming the child ? ” What is meant is that after clearing your own issues, try to put yourself in his/her place or look at the issue from his/her perspective. Tap yourself “as if” you are your child. Make your statement in the first person.It is my belief that as long as we ask for our EFT to be "for the highest good of all", then we are in integrity.“My child won’t tap anyway ! ” Occasionally when tapping is new to a child can be resistant to tapping or being tapped on. Tap yourself first for your frustration. Then, use your child’s own exact words whenever you can to tap on yourself. Example: “Even though I think this tapping is stupid, silly or won’t work, I am willing to give it a try, anyway.”When you feel a good emotional shift, you can begin to tap yourself for the issues at hand. Don’t worry unduly about SUD’S; you have a good idea what the intensity is. You might want to throw in that “Even though I am feeling mad/sad/bad, I know my mum and dad love me and care about me.”You can be open, child like and creative with your statements. Be persistent. Be patient. Be silly! Most of all, be gentle with yourself.I will offer you more advice on gentle ways to overcome your child’s resistance to tapping in a later issue. “What issues can I work on ?” Simple. You may choose to surrogate tap on any issues that have emotional content: e.g. · Temper, stubborn, anger, fear, confidence, sadness, guilt, shame, etc· When parents are separated from their child for some reason - hospital, school trip, etc· When the child is resistant to tapping on themselves“I’m not sure about it ?” Sometimes I get asked do I think is it ethical to tap for someone else. I usually respond by asking them to consider do they ask permission to pray for someone else. With care, surrogate tapping reduces negative emotions by clearing energy disruptions always with the Child’s Best Intention in Mind.Have fun. Fondest wishes – Christine This article is adapted from my © TAP with ME programme for parents. Log onto www.eftworld.co.uk for details of the complete programme

Set-up phrase and fear of doctors

irisa73 — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 19:00:43 GMT

Hi Everyone,

I have 2 questions:

1. What set-up phrase to use when tapping on my baby (2.5 months) or toddler (2.5 yrs old)? Should I say - "even though YOU have this ______, YOU deeply and completely accept yourself"? Or is it better to tap on myself as surrogate? and if I'm the surrogate and I have toxins that hinder EFT from working for me (I'm working on this), does that mean I won't be able to surrogate till I'm cleared up?

2. My toddler is terrified of doctors, she screams and wails and uses all her might to avoid a visit to the doctor. I've tried tapping on her "even though you're afraid of doctors, you deeply and completely accept yourself" before we enterd the doctor's office last time, but it didn't work - she screamed and fought to escape same as always. Was I doing it wrong?

Thanks a lot,

Iris