Teacher's Discussion

Re: selective mutism in 9 yr old girl

Tinka — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 00:59:02 GMT

Dear KateLevel 3 EFT engages one in creative EFT. You have intuitively entered into this practice. Cartoons, role-play, brilliant. You know why I think she was accepted to the school? It is so she could meet you and be introduced to EFT. Let me state the obvious, I beg your forgiveness if all this was already done.Enhancement of a given situation can bring a shift in perspective, opening a new channel for energy flow:'Even though I am really afraid to talk I’m a cool girl beautiful person, especially successful in being me. ' through the points

'afraid of talking , terrified of talking, this fear of talking, it’s dangerous to talk, it’s very dangerous for me to talk, afraid to talk, afraid to open my mouth. This fear of saying stuff.'

'Even though it is extremely dangerous for me and for others to hear the sound of my voice I am perfect in being myself no one can be myself better then me and it’s cool.'

through the points

'afraid of my voice, my extremely dangerous voice, my killer voice, my terrible voice, this dangerous sound of my voice, this voice of mine, this voice, the sound, this danger.'

A few recommendations before engaging the tapping above:Go to the following link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr-FEoY440g and learn the five-minute routine. Start every session with that routine. You will ensure the maximum potential for her energy system to interact with the process.Make an associative list with her for the words: danger, dangerous, frightening, deadly etcI am not sure if you are tapping on her or she is tapping on herself. In case you are tapping on her let her type or write every affirmation while you are saying them, in the language that she feels most comfortable writing in. (give the time for translation and reflection)In case she’s stepping on herself (recommended) whisper the affirmation is into her right ear. Again, asks her to translate in her head what you see to her native language.I would also try to combine reality and imagination for example: Have her visualise all her classmates joining her for a tapping session.

Ask her, what would they be tapping about and how does it feel?

Then see what will be her reaction when you suggest to try it for real.Have her choose other people to tap along with and have her building up the affirmations.You have mentioned intuitive tapping, I find the following exercise enhances intuition:Take three deep breaths but instead of centring your experience on the lungs try to imagine that the air you are inhaling is physically expanding your heart You can visualis it as an image, try to sense it or any other way that will help you connect these three deep breaths to your heart energy.That’s all for now, hope it will help please let us know.BlessingsAurel

Re: selective mutism in 9 yr old girl

dhteach — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 01:52:07 GMT

I really liked the affirmations posted that the child can use which describe self-acceptance. As adults, I think it is helpful for children to also know that even though they may have selective mutism (or other challenges) at this time, that we also love and accept them. They will still benefit from eventually speaking more, but if we are asking them to accept themselves, it is helpful if we can model the same thing.

Also, the amazing thing about EFT is that the child may not need to identify the reason why she is not speaking (she may not know it herself) to have effective results. My own experience it that tapping relieved pain or other challenges even when I could not identify the underlying cause. I think the posted affirmations would be very beneficial.

Please let us know of your success!

Re: selective mutism in 9 yr old girl

flaminjo — Thu, 28 May 2009 05:55:04 GMT

Hi Kat, I think sayandra has come up with brilliant suggestions,those self affirmations may take time but they will ultimately work.Biggest hurdle you faces is that kid is not any younger so these techniques would take quite some time before they start showing results.I like your flexible approach where you are trying various things those bubble cartoons are brilliant.Just be persistent and patient.you will definately see the encouraging results.

Re: selective mutism in 9 yr old girl

roccor — Tue, 26 May 2009 12:10:12 GMT

She is 9 years old, so it will be a little more difficult working with her. Children with SM are usually diagnosed between 4 and 6 years of age.It requires a lot of support and understanding at home and at School. It alarms me that her parents are not supportive of your efforts. You are handling the situation the best that you can, but without any knowledge of what her parents are doing to help her you may not progress with her as much as you like (if they even are doing anything to help her).

The root of the problem is anxiety, and if nothing is being done to help lower the anxiety she will remain silent when she is not with the people that she is most familiar with (usually close family members / friends). It is great that she wrote in order to respond to you! Some days she may not be able to that because of higher anxiety levels. Cognitve Behaviorial Therapy (CBT) is very important for those who suffer from SM. I handle all aspects of CBT for my daughter and she has come a very long way in the past 6 months. You must understand that my daughter is also taking a low dose form of Zoloft due to the high anxiety that was ailing her. Before she started medication she stopped going to her friend's homes for play dates. Even with medication and CBT, she still does not speak in class. She has spoken to a few Teachers and Staff members at the School, but speech to everyone will come with time and therapy. Chances are that your 9 year old student will not speak to you directly for one or two years, sooner if you are able to have her feel comfortable enough, thus lowering her anxiety.

There is a book that I let my daughter's School borrow "Helping Your Child with Selective Mutism: Practical Steps to Overcome a Fear of Speaking: Angela E. McHolm, Charles E. Cunningham". They have referred to the book frequently. We also had a meeting with some of the School staff and our daughter's Psychologist. That really helped clear some misconceptions that some of the staff members had about SM.

Don't be frustrated if you have progress one day and then lose it all the next. It is a normal and it takes a long time to see real progress. Does this Student bring anything from home to school with her? My daughter always brings a stuffed animal to School with her - it helps her feel more comfortable, thus it helps to lower her anxiety as well. You do have quite a challenge because her parents do not seem interested in helping. Don't give up, you are doing a wonderful job.

Rob

www.selectivemutism.ca

Re: selective mutism in 9 yr old girl

teachermod2 — Mon, 25 May 2009 05:54:30 GMT

Hi Kat,

I really like what you are doing with the cartoon bubbles -- what a great way to elicit communication! And you obviously are building rapport which is critical in a case like this.

From the information you've gotten so far, I might try

Even though I don't know why I don't want to talk, I'm a great kid and I like myself

Even though I don't like this school because I don't have any friends, I'm a great kid and I accept myself

Even though I don't have any friends, I'm a great kid and I accept myself

You might ask her if she is willing to talk "someday" -- if she indicates she is, you might try

Even though I don't want to talk right now, someday I will choose to talk, and it will be ok

Even though I don't want to talk right now, someday I will choose to talk my head off (trying to inject a little humor to take the edge off the fear factor)

If it is possible for you to meet with the parents, that might be helpful in gaining more information. Also, it might be interesting to have them bring the little brother in for a session to see how they play and interact with each other.

Please keep us posted!

Re: selective mutism in 9 yr old girl

Kath — Mon, 25 May 2009 04:17:37 GMT

thanks Teachermod2. I am continuing to see her every day. I spoke to the VP and the language she got was in response to a picture test [what do you see?/what is happening here?]it really wasn't a great range of language but the VP stated that the girl must have been primed to answer at that specific time as her parents really want her in this school. I also rang her previous school and it had always been a factor there - though she had friends there who would pass on her whispered answers and statements to the teacher. She does have a brother but I don't know much about him - only that he is to be enrolled at some stage. She talks at home and her parents are able to elicit responses from her.

I have found that I feel great during and after our sessions with EFT [words being stuck; not feeling safe, ready or brave; not making/having friends]. I have teamed this with a cartoon generation site that I have found, where we can make 'avatar' type of cartoon caricatures of us and attach speech bubbles. She enjoys this but her consistent typed response to "are you happy here?; do you have friends/why not?; why so quiet?" is 'I don't know'. During our sessions I am insistent that "I don't know" is not acceptable for that cartoon character to say - it leaves the other character with nothing to say. I don't insist on any other point accept this one. As a result, she has stated that she doesn't like this school as she has no friends. But she also knows that talking would be a solution to her challenge but she isn't choosing to do so.

Even with my own challenges, I do realise that EFT can take time and persistent effort so that's what I"m doing. I'm still looking for the key - and hopefully EFT will present it. Any suggestions for tapping phrases gratefully received.

Re: selective mutism in 9 yr old girl

teachermod2 — Mon, 18 May 2009 18:01:40 GMT

Hi Kat,

I would encourage you to be "patiently perserverant." Sometimes we just have to keep doing what we know to do and trust that some things are happening internally that aren't yet visible. Continue to follow your intuition -- you never know when things might start to click into place.

I think it's great that you are doing this with this child. Have you spoken with the vice-principal to get a better idea of what she actually was able to do/say in the interview? How old is she? Do you know when the selective mutism started? Does she have siblings at home? Does she talk at home? With extended family members?

With a bit more information, perhaps we can come up with more specific things to tap on.

selective mutism in 9 yr old girl

Kath — Mon, 18 May 2009 06:50:55 GMT

Hi,

I'm a special education teacher who has completed level 1 & 2 of EFT trainin, so I'm not new to this, and frankly see it as the one thing I can offer this child. She is a new student who somehow passed the interview with the vice principal to enter the school [I work in an international school in Hong Kong with English language proficiency levels dictating entry] so obviously she spoke enough english to support her enrollment.

Her last school commented about her level of communication but nothing more. I have been working with her for about a week and a half now, everyday - doing EFT and some NLP exercises I've learned. I've used some intuition and some of the phrases I've read in articles about mutism because I'm not getting anything from her. The biggest shift, just vibrationally, was when I asked her to place all her worries in a box [what size? what does it look like?] and somehow get rid of it. She wrote down that she wanted to cook it - so we did a couple of rounds on that - it felt really good but no talking.

Today [Monday], it feels like being back to square one. Any rapport I had built up, now seems to have disipated. Has anyone else worked with a child with this condition? The parents are not really supportive of our efforts and are not encouraging her to participate on any level which makes it very hard for her to make friends, join in on group work and show her knowledge.

looking forward to any ideas

Kat